That’s My Girl
Today, the kids and I were at a play place with some close friends. When we got there, we were the only people there. After about 20 minutes of play, some other kids, including some 9 year old boys joined the fun. Ten minutes later, Sweetie (age 5) comes out of the tubes and says, “Mommy, those boys are being mean to us.” She quickly explained that they were being pushy and making fun of them.
I could have intervened, but I firmly believe in teaching my kids how to deal with situations on their own. So, I asked her what her Tae Kwon Do instructor, Master Ran, would have her do in this situation.
She looked at me, thought for a second, then looked at her friend clapped her hands together and said, “Alright, let’s do this.” They ran back to play. The boy came down the slide and ran a bit towards Sweetie. She turned towards him, took her stance, one foot behind the other, hands raised in front of her chest and said, “Back off” in a calm, steady, and firm voice.
The boy said something inaudible to her. Her eyes narrowed, she looked straight at the boy, a good 4 inches taller than her, and said, calmly and clearly, her eyes determined, “I am not going to fight you.” She turned on her heel, and walked away.
The kids returned to play, and it got loud in the little jungle gym. I heard Sweetie’s voice yelling above the masses, but I couldn’t hear what she had said. All I knew was those boys came out of those tunnels and ran towards the corner to hide from her. I later asked her what she had said to the boys. She told me she said that they were being mean to her and her friends and she wasn’t going to stand for it.
I am so proud. A few months ago, Sweetie was a quiet reserved little girl on the playground. Today, she can hold her own and stand up for herself and for those around her. She did so with action, deliberate. At one point, I did hear her say something mean to the boys after they had said something to her. I pulled her over to tell her that she was doing well with the other techniques and that she need to keep them up, to walk away and ignore if necessary. I also told her that she deserved respect always, so to treat others the same way. Lead by example. She understood, and went on her way.
She is learning. I am glad that she can stand up for herself and learning to do so without bullying or name calling back. She is learning to deal with the situation with strength, resolve, and honor. My little girl, the girl that will start kindergarten in two weeks, is growing up so fast.
Today, I was honored to see that I am raising a strong girl with character. God, I love that girl.
Ironically, I think her 2-year-old brother who hasn’t even taken a Tae Kwon Do class is better at the strikes and kicks (which is by no means a slight on Sweetie – Wise Guy is just naturally a tiny ninja).
SilentBen´s last blog ..Verbal Abuse (and Nounal)
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sounds like shes taking after her mother
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Haha! Imagine the explainin’ those boys would’ve had to do.
“You got beat up by a 5 year old girl?!?!”
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*off to search for tae kwon do classes in my area for my daughter*
Most. Inspiring. Story. Ever.
Cecily´s last blog ..
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Way to go mom. I am sure I would have been tempted to lecture the boys and I think your approach was much more effective. You gave her the power and she accepted it. This may increase her confidence as she begins school and has to find her voice with lots of new kids.
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Awesome! My 3 girls (9, 6, 3) are all in TKD and I hope I am able to see them use any of their training to defend or stand up for themselves or others. Mostly by giving respect, but I’ll take defense stance too!
Jennifer´s last blog ..y’all are gifted in different ways
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That’s just the best thing I’ve read in a long time! My biggest worry with my boy in future school is bullying. Maybe I should sign him up for Tae Kwon Do….. hmmmm….. =)
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Good for her. Being the mom that I am, I’d probably still have told the 9 year olds to knock it off for picking on kids so much smaller.
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[...] by example, show that love, patience, and kindness are far better than a callous heart. We must give our kids the tools to stand up for themselves, their friends, those in need. We must listen, truly listen. [...]