Happiness – Then and Now
So, when Cecily wrote me the other day asking me to write a post on the difference between what makes me happy now compared to when I was younger, I jumped at it. What better way to fend off the predictable, depression and annual idenitity crisis of the “who am I, where have I been, where am I going, what is my influence, what am I going to be when I finally grow up” variety that is honestly starting to sound like Charlie Brown’s ineffective teacher in my own head?
Then, when I got to REALLY thinking about it, I wondered if what makes me happy really has changed at all. I guess the idea is that as we get older, we get wiser, the things that make us happy change as we mature and undergo a metamorphosis. Me? Well, maybe I just have not reached that level of enlightenment. Maybe I just have not reached that magical age where everything becomes clear (there is a magical age right? Tell me I am nearing it….). Maybe I need to go back to study with the monks, because it seems like all the things that have made me happy in my life have changed in these subtle, nuanced ways.
Happiness then
Singing into a pool stick in my friend Danielle’s basement. Singing along to Pearl Jam and Nirvana and Soundgarden and the Singles Soundtrack and the Thompson Twins and Cheap Trick and The Clash and Cyndi Lauper and Edie Brickell and Janis Joplin and the Doors and R.E.M and the Pixies and They Might Be Giants and the Beatles……
Happiness now:
Singing into a pen or marker (there is always one around or in my hand) with my kids in my living room or while jumping on my bed. Singing along to the same as above along with , and Evanescence, and Live and the Jimmies and OK Go and the Silversun Pickups and the Killers and Jason Mraz and Green Day and the Fray and Glen Hansard and the Barenaked Ladies and the Flobots and Rob Thomas and Otis Redding and Jack Johnson …..
Happiness then:
Performing on stage. Dancing. Acting. Music.
Happiness now:
Speaking is my performance art. Performing in front of a classroom. Performing as a plantnum blond pixie cut waif drummer in my rock band “Almost Hatstand”.
Happiness then:
Being “edgy” by writing lyrics, and poems, and thoughts, and feelings on my bedroom walls in pastels or on my green chucks in black pen.
Happiness now:
Having clean walls. And clean Keens. Writing my thoughts and feelings on the walls of my much larger room…..the internet. There is plenty of room to stretch out here.
Happiness then:
Dancing and hiking and climbing and jumping through open car windows. Slow seductions.
Happiness now:
Same. But I also am just as happy with cool sheets against my skin for a quiet, lonely nap on a lazy Saturday afternoon.
AHHHHH. Naps.
Happiness then:
My own success and achievement.
Happiness now:
Witnessing and having a part in the success of others. Seeing my students and children succeed. Realizing that their success is a reflection of my own.
Happiness then:
Nature. Rocks. Streams.
Happiness now:
Nature. Rocks. Streams.
Happiness then:
Helping others through community service.
Happiness now:
Helping others through community service.
Happiness then:
Looking for my next adventure.
Happiness now:
Realizing that each day, each moment is a potential adventure if you see it through.
Happiness then:
Armed with my 110 and my N70.
Happiness now:
Armed with my DSLR.
See? The differences between my happiness then and my happiness now is in the semantics. The happiness has always been in the simple, in the company of others, in laughter, in health, in action. It is in these times of personal uncertainty of what and when and where and who I am that I launch this anchor, steady myself, and return to the simple. And then, only then, do I let the happiness consume me.
Wow. Maybe I am grown up afterall.
What makes you happy?
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The “happiness now” list is a longer than the “happiness then” by virtue of my more mature outlook on life. I learned to see that what makes me happy comes from within rather than external things.
“If I only had this…”
“If so-and-so would say yes if I ask her out…”
“If my parents would only…”
etc…
Elliott – 21st Century Dad´s last blog ..
[Reply]
I have to point out that the green Chucks were mine – yours were off white. It does make me happy, though that I could be a part of your happiness both in the then and the now. And Almost Hatstand’s big break is coming.
SilentBen´s last blog ..Night Shade
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